Kiwi catchups in London town
The myth, the legend, Andy Brown
Where kiwis gather, more always arrive
There might have been four or even five
Inevitably there were drinking games
Not many compliments mostly calling names
There was no winner, only foggy heads
The couch was mine as there were no beds
Lara and I went for a run
Well more of a jog, this wa for fun
The leaves clung on, turning red in the process
We aimed for the hill, to great success
These woods are enchanting in the half light
The wind gave a cool but gentle bite
Our sprint to the finish ended under Chester's tree
Where the old dog's spirit still wanders, carefree
Cousin Lara has a wedding to plan
I'm staying out of the way if I can
The thing is I can't, they want me around
I smile and nod and don't make a sound
The level of detail is terrifying
If I was in charge I'd already be crying
Apparently a year is not long to go
I must prepare for my guitar cameo
London on foot
It's better staying put
I spent all day
Trying to locate
The Museum of Natural History
Conspiracy or mystery
I made it! At last
I dove into the past
A cousins reunion to go down in history
There was frivolity and laughing and a touch of mystery
It started at the pub as all good nights do
There was food for Africa and perhaps Europe too
We migrated to a bar for cocktails and a sausage roll
The antics started spiralling out of control
Our final stop was a place specialising in waffles and duck
We didn't get in which was, I think, a stroke of luck
The skies were blue so up we went
The propeller began our wobbly ascent
Uncle Graham (or Captain Biggles)
Was our Top Gun pilot throughout the giggles
The little Cessna bounced around
The feeling of flight was quite profound
As the co-pilot I had to stay alert
Several other planes caused us to divert
I took the frighteningly expensive train
Off to London with the promise of rain
I met up with Ollie for a pint or two
After so long away there was fat to chew
South America and London are on different planets
London is like a feeding frenzy of gannets
Different but not necessarily worse
To shun anything new would be a curse
Took Dotty the dog inside the airport
If we were told off we would promptly abort
Lara was arriving from New York
Dotty used this opportunity to do a catwalk
Heads turned, and one lady approached
"A guide dog in training", should the subject be broached
She asked whether Dotty was a sniffer dog
I nodded, turned, and proceeded to jog
My first play in London did not live up to the hype
Like a dodgy connection when you're excited for Skype
It was a whodunit tale with minimal suspense
The ending was clever but the rest - far from tense
The main character spat more than changing his face
The first half was dour, the second picked up the pace
My excitement for the theatre has merely suffered a delay
I'll seek refuge in the West End for my second play
A spot of golf to round out the day
Quality non-existent but nice to play
A quaint course, very calm and green
The kind of place where you might bump into the Queen
Nut-crazed squirrels bounced all around
A deer shuffled by keeping low to the ground
The English summer in its final sigh
The winter preparing a hasty reply
Dotty the dog has lost the plot
She'd have great difficulty hearing a shot
She keeps forgetting when she last ate
She uses her nose to gently nudge the plate
Her floppy ears warm her tired face
On our walks she maintains a proud pace
She zooms to the bedroom without being lead
As soon as she senses anyone going to bed
Touch down in London and straight to dance class
I thought the long flight might've given me a pass
The average age was double that of my own
Ten minutes later and I was in the zone
A room full of polite people stepping on toes
Rekindled intimacy and clashing elbows
Handshakes all round and then off for some food
Time to put right the lack of sleep I'd accrued
Six crazy months in eight little lines
South America surely combines
All of the colour, the boldness of existence
The fragile systems and constant resistance
With unshielded eyes, I've shifted and thought
I've bumped into people I've learnt from and taught
I leave without changing the world a great deal
But I've increased my capacity to learn and to feel
The dance floor was sticky
Getting through was tricky
The DJ was over-enthusiastic
My dance moves were inelastic
A girl had a fit, we took her outside
People passed out by the curbside
Things became increasingly bizarre
The strange night ended with a dysfunctional car
I went to Starbucks - I never go there
I bought a cookie and found a chair
I felt rather odd, having just said goodbye
I had an 8-hour wait until my plane was to fly
I got talking to the guy across from me
I found him compelling, and two became three
I switched my gaze; a Spaniard had joined in the fun
We spoke, we laughed and then I had to run
My penultimate day in Cusco
I'm not sure I'm ready to go
Very few are worse at goodbyes
Each one seems to take me by surprise
Tomorrow I'll be leaving behind
Something that you rarely find
A home on the other side of the Earth
I'll be back, for what it's worth
My last time playing on this majestic pool table
You must go and play on it if you are able
At times, more sloped than a pregnant belly
It's nestled under a sport-playing telly
Home advantage comes with knowing the contours
The Milhouse pool table listens and cures
It carries the scars of battles long gone
We arrive, we feel, we move on
Glorious dust flew into my eyes
We zoomed along under blue skies
Yiyo and myself had motorbikes for the day
We left the group to make our own way
Naturally we found ourselves extremely lost
Thankfully our late arrival came at no extra cost
Mel zoomed behind on a nippy four-wheeler
I'm addicted to bikes, this was just a feeler
Mix it up at the gym
Change plans on a whim
Drop the weights and do a handstand
Have a boxing match (unplanned)
Do a strangely seductive dance
Do a downward dog facing France
Gym bunnies take their seriousness too far
Relax, the lot of you - be who you are
The kids at Sunday football are growing cheeky
Their remarks in Spanish are increasingly sneaky
Subtle comments that they think we don't get
While innocently smiling, hardly breaking a sweat
But we're on their case, like hounds on a scent
We will not stand for this humiliating dissent
So we smash them, destroy them (in a footballing sense)
The only way forward is through ruthless offence