So long for now, my UK home
A place friendlier than a garden gnome
To Jenny, my surrogate mother abroad
Thanks for all the places we explored
To Graham, enjoy all that retirement brings
Be safe on the plane - take your water wings
To Mark and Lara and everyone I've seen
For the laughs, the madness and everything in between
I feel confident about making soup
There's always room for a late regroup
You know exactly what you're dealing with
You can forge your destiny like a blacksmith
At my disposal was a fresh butternut
I began by giving it a light haircut
Then added all manner of edible delight
I feel my butternut soup stole the spotlight
When your Aunty says 'Don't let her jump in the mud pool'
There can be only one outcome (it's just the rule)
Amber and I went off on a walk through the forest
She bounded through the flora with the nose of a florist
The next minute she's covered from ear to tail
In the mud from the pool hidden just off the trail
And thus I returned to a dumbfounded Aunty
With a brown golden retriever, tongue wagging with glee
The laptop charger broke
Poems fade like smoke
Panic turns to troubleshooting
My cousin's room is ripe for looting
No charger there, I'll have to find
A replacement on the interwebular online
That's now done; it's on its way
The poems are back on track compadre
A pro footballer's workout
My body is thrown about
I've forgotten how to skip
Liam's dishing out some lip
My noodle legs give way
A rather dismal display
Then a sauna/steam combo
As my heart rate starts to slow
Chesterfield, 'The Chez' - call it what you like
Making my way up was a bit of a hike
Ollie and I went there to see the mighty Chesterfield FC
Play top of the table Scunthorpe who defeated us by three
Unfortunately my friend Liam didn't make it off the bench
Some of the crowd's chants were wittier than Judy Dench
Later we entered the smokiest dance floor I've ever seen
No doubt to hide the majority that were under 18
The final day of a marvellous week
And a final scene to hone all technique
Myself and Jennifer - a soon-to-be star
She was a fired-up sister ready to spar
I played the brother who's under police scrutiny
Already miserable and now facing sister mutiny
We shouted and laughed and flew through the scene
Pumped with adrenaline and too much caffeine
First day of filming and look who's up first
Trying desperately to do it better than we rehearsed
I played a campaign manager getting blackmailed
I tried to charm my way out but that inevitably failed
The spark wasn't there but we gave it a good go
I think perhaps I needed to be sporting a mo
It was good to be back working on set
Even if the scene becomes something to forget
The third day we dove right into the world
Of acting technique and the madness unfurled
We harnessed power from the stillness of walls
We spoke of fickle cats and dogs with balls
The elements provided physical metaphors
Air a gentle gait, fire fighting a cause
Water wringing out entrenched feeling
Earth age and wisdom, a calm healing
Second day in, and things got spicy
Maximum effort as the course was pricey
We were split into pairs then given two lines
A scene staying within those verbal confines
Ours turned bleak, covering alcohol abuse
We wished we'd put our five minutes to more use
Then we were given our scripts for the showreel scenes
I was happy with my lot, bounced home like a sack of beans
Twelve nervous face and one ready to impart
Her experience to those who love the art
The Actor's Studio, a week of exploration
Of personal development and group collaboration
Day one we recounted a memory of choice
Under intense scrutiny and with a faltering voice
I told the tale of encountering goats on Outward Bound
I didn't quite nail it as I was tightly wound
Cuzzy Mark took the dog for a walk
And watched my golf ball like a hawk
Let's just say I saw a lot of the course
Bunkers that showed very little remorse
I got to know the trees and the long grass
My driving was somewhat less than world class
We pulled the pin after the drizzle came
Always nice to hang out all the same
A kind soul moved on today
Trevor; words simply cannot convey
Such a gentle man who never heard
Me say even a single word
I'll miss his unrestrained bellowing voice
Every sporting victory that we rejoiced
His smile, his bear hugs, his endless love
Trevor I'll look for you above
Nothing screams home like a roast
Homeliness warmer than a fresh piece of toast
A glass of wine and a fire burning
The glow of displaced family returning
Elbows banging as everyone squeezes in
Struggling to hear someone over the din
A guitar floating around to play
A Sunday feel regardless of the day
My first London gig hit the spot
Tasty as a mid-season apricot
The blues rang out through a crowded bar
Callous yet comforting, like an old scar
Piers and I rocked the dance floor
Then later, as we went to explore
We found an old busker bellowing to life
We joined him in song, sharing his strife
An admin day to get things done
I had a huge list, ticked off just one
Bowl of cereal, shadows moving
Funky music to get things grooving
Productivity went down the drain
Mario Kart on, I couldn't refrain
I made some rather delicious rolls
Time to reassess these goals
Ashley's gone and bought herself a pug
Dad gave a chuckle and mum gave a shrug
Sister and Sam now own a living face scrunch
Created by someone who drank too much punch
By all accounts he's frantic and cute
He's getting dog training so stays rather mute
They called him Henry, not your classic dog name
But that's Ashley - anything normal is lame
The grub at the pub is nothing to snub
A taste bud delight, but not good for the tub
Burgers and bangers and chips and peas
Tingling ales to make you weak at the knees
There's always a barman who's worked there too long
He grumbles at a sneeze or the change of a song
A worn pool table and a name like 'The Thirsty Goat'
Bellies bobbling in, looking to wet the throat
A Sunday kickaround for an hour or so
Then off on the bus to meet up with Jo
We made our way down the famous Brick Lane
Had a curry with wine (the curries are insane)
We bounced between pubs on this brisk Sunday night
The wallets were loose despite budgets being tight
Jo's boyfriend hid kitchen implements around their house
He's not going to make a functional spouse
Not being there for my brother's 21st
Did not at all help the sore head that I nursed
Thankfully I had given a speech to a friend to say
Which I heard live on the phone from so far away
I miss the big guy he's a really good friend
And aside from the party I did not attend
We're always together, a bit of back and forth
I can't wait to see him in a month up North