July
We woke early and set off on a morning trek
We were told we might be getting a little bit wet
A little wet was an understatement. "Take off your shoes"
I looked down at my toes and wondered which one I might lose
Caimans are South America's answer to the alligator
This particular swamp section was a Caiman collaborator
The splashes around me gave me much to ponder
That was before our guide mentioned a possible anaconda
My first taste of Brazilian ways happened right at the border
Seduced by a slick-talking tour guide - he took our passports and gave the order
The line was skipped and our passports stamped without a blink of the eye
Then off we went to the Pantanal to chase animals under the hot sky
We took an evening walk following an eccentric barefooted guide
'Anaconda' as he called himself enjoyed every moment of the ride
Later we had a camp fire with a shooting star or two
We thought the first day was adventurous but we didn't have a clue
Your priorities when travelling take an unexpected turn
You're more concerned with ways to charge your camera than ways to earn
Wifi spots are golden and any need for privacy begins to taper
The first thing you look for in a Bolivian toilet is if it has toilet paper
You haven't really backpacked until you've given your undies a hand wash
You smell, you're out of options, and you're well beyond looking posh
You cast your eyes around the hostel, I think that sink will do
You grab the nearest bar of soap and soak your undies through
There are three things that will always scream Bolivia to me
They've each been consumed on this trip rather regularly
The first is a Sublime, pronounced 'Suu-blee-may' over here
The perfect blend of peanut and chocolate to bring about a tear
Coke is not something I ever thought I would enjoy as much as this
There's something about Bolivia that makes a bottle of Coke bliss
Finally, the Bolivian street burger - there are no words
You'll have a bite and later you'll be on your knees for thirds
We took a guided walk through a National Park
The token obnoxious group member was never short of a remark
Beautiful tree-scattered cliffs gave way to a river
The cloud coverage and wet boots brought on a shiver
Tom was adamant that the guide had brought cocaine
His white powder turned out to be baking soda - which was tame
Later we took the bus to the sprawling city of Santa Cruz
And found a sweet hostel with good Internet to use
Samaipata, the town that never wakes
Sleepier than a McDonald's worker without breaks
The climate is pleasant all year round
A more peaceful Bolivian village I have not found
Nearby lies 'El Fuerte', an ancient meeting place
Where Incans and Amazonians used to show their face
What was once a vibrant cultural hub is now a giant rock
The place was immaculate and organised which was quite a shock
Our charming bus ride finished 10km past our stop
The driver mumbled an apology and firm 'out you hop'
It was 4:30 in the morning, dumped on the side of the road
Thankfully a lone taxi driver flashed his lights and slowed
We sat in Samaipata plaza until the sun poked its head
Then found a quaint hostel where an old lady gave us each a bed
I returned the favour by breaking her expensive thermos
Then proceeded to search for a replacement in earnest
We went from three party shirt wearers to two
Our lovely Dutch friend had other things to do
So we went to the bus terminal to haggle on deals
And thought we had secured a good set of wheels
'Expreso Tequila' wasn't quite as fun as it sounds
No bathroom on board and 13 hours of shaky grounds
Not a recipe for a pleasant night's sleep
Looking back, the bus haggling learning curve was steep
Here's an interesting piece of trivia
We went rock climbing with the second best in Bolivia
Carlos, our guide, champion in waiting
Took us for an afternoon of educating
Four climbs later my arms were jelly
But there was one last climb for my limbs to rally
An overhang of biblical proportions
My body couldn't handle such contortions
There's nothing quite like a good vege soup
When you're out of ideas with a hungry group
If something looks edible it is added to the mix
There's no problem a vege soup cannot fix
After demolishing the soup we found a guitar
And found our way to the rooftop to sing to a star
The lyrics got lost somewhere above
So we made up our own with a good dose of love
We were told to take bus twelve to the end
By our hostel owner and South African friend
So we did just that, and it was quite the sight
He said it might be a bit dusty and he was right
Dogs and dirt were all that I could see
Passing the village we came to a tree
There we sat and ate until shadows grew
We returned with more stories and dust on our shoe
Arriving at 4:30 in the morning is never ideal
When you're hoping for a bed and a hot meal
An eccentric German kindly opened the door
To a hostel that could not have given us more
Later we explored Sucre, a city in white
Through the food markets for ingredients that night
Fresh fruit and veges after so many days
Of exclusively street burgers, although I enjoyed that phase
After far too much driving, another overnight bus
This time there were no blankets available to us
Our driver clearly thought this was Formula One
Hurtling a double-decker bus around corners was his kind of fun
His fun, not mine, but hey who's asking
While he was cackling away I was in the back basking
In a beautiful ride of tensed cheeks and curses
I could drive better doing blindfolded reverses
More driving on the second day of our salt flat tour
Our driver Rollo spoke maybe once but at least he was secure
We arrived that night beside an acidic lake
Not where I'd chose to live myself but an interesting spot to wake
Sub zero temperatures made for a cosy night
We pushed the beds together to avoid the chilly bite
A spot of rum and 'would you rather' sent us off to sleep
My kind of lullaby, certainly preferable to counting sheep
Uyuni, Bolivia, home to the great salt flats
Certainly not a place to see welcoming doormats
It's about as inhospitable an environment I've seen
Whites and browns without the slightest hint of green
It is spectacularly vast, and the final resting place
Of my wee toy rhino, prompting a cold case
Investigations concluded that wee rhino wanted to stay
In the middle of the salt flats, eager just to play
I now see home through the eyes of non-kiwis
Those distant islands with a magical breeze
"New Zealand, I've heard it's beautiful there"
"It is", I tell them, as I begin to share
The unworldly freedoms, the childhood of smiles
The hazy summer beaches that stretch for miles
It dawns on me what a deal I've been dealt
Confirming an affection that I've always felt
A day spent chasing waterfalls ended in hospital
We meandered up a river and then Tom took a spill
The deep cut in his leg was soon wrapped up with a towel
Did he want to stop? Keep going - said with a growl
Returning home, Grandma Gloria pointed to the door
So off we went to hospital on a very foreign shore
Naturally the nurse was new to stitches, but Tom didn't mind
She was rather taken to him, but in pain, Tom declined
The kindness of hospitality cannot be understated
Cleaning out the cobwebs that the dusty road created
A smile across the table and a second plate of food
Jokes about the soap that we had managed to elude
A witty granny at the helm for all our sewing needs
I'm thankful for this house and all the kindness that it breeds
To say our thanks we cook a meal in true improvised kiwi style
Grandad's impressed, and later says it's his first dinner in a while
So there we were, sitting by the highway
Our overnight bus had dropped us off in the grey
An old woman stood there frying something in a pan
We bought the something, and sat there as the day began
We munched the fried something and sipped at milky oats
Cars marched their way to work, grunting through their throats
Breakfast by the road, as Cochabamba stirred into action
I nod at the lady. Road breakfasts - I can see the attraction
The witches at the witch market look at me funny
I keep my head down, fumbling my money
Their assorted potions line the store shelves
While their children duck in and out like elves
A popular potion is called "follow me follow me"
You blow the powder onto your lover to be
I left that one alone, the witch gave a scowl
I look back and her eyes track me like an owl