I have been recruited by a football team
It has done wonders for my self-esteem
Plucked from a pub after over-selling my ability
What I lack in goals I make for with poor agility
The first game was a tense affair
Our tactics were ancient - at one point I swear
I heard, 'pass it slower, let's bore them to death'
I would have responded but I was out of breath
Granada lies in the South of Spain
A place with very little rain
Tomatoes inhabit almost every meal
Afternoons are spent dozing like a seal
Yes the siesta culture is alive and well
The city retreats to sleep in its shell
Dinner only gets going at around 10
I'm clucking for a feed like a mother hen
Run you good thing run
Chase the dying sun
Let run be the thought
No fear of falling short
In this place there is peace
Let your demons release
We've only just begun
Run you good thing run
News of a big earthquake back home
Made for a horrible day watching the phone
Updates indicated that a tsunami might occur
Heading towards where my siblings were
Thankfully it didn't eventuate
For them, the worst was the anxious wait
The house pitching and rolling through the night
As aftershocks shook them towards daylight
Granada is not conducive to casual rugby
Be safe with your hands or things might get ugly
You have to get creative with the public spaces
Throwing the ball amidst confused faces
Most of the locals have never before seen
This monstrosity of a ball shaped like a bean
This sport will rise up out of the ashes
We are just honoured to educate the masses
The stage was set for a mighty battle
Two players looking to jostle and rattle
The chessboard glistened in the crowded room
My opponent forecasted my impending doom
I started off strong, my pawns forged ahead
Smelling blood, I tried to put the game to bed
A mistake! I'd left myself fatally open
The result was not one that I'd been hopin'
Interesting to see life through a cleaner's eyes
Monotonous tasks, always early to rise
The nuances of the hostel reveal themselves
The curious items left behind on the shelves
Treading with caution when entering each room
Lest we interrupt something that they are keen to resume
Out of that room and on to the next
Some of these smells have left me perplexed
You have to say it's quite the career path
Regardless of the inevitably horrific aftermath
The Apprentice becomes the leader of the United States
Donald Trump; a lesser version of the earliest primates
The environment will suffer and progress will be halted
As an optimist I have to say I'm positively revolted
Like waking up to discover several drunken tattoos
I'll never forget waking up to see this on the news
First day on the job and I'm completely lost
They won't speak to me slower at any cost
Elias my cleaning buddy shows me around
He takes a wasp sting to the face without making a sound
These are all fairly simple and menial tasks
The chemicals are intense but I won't ask for a mask
It's nice to switch the brain off and just clean some glass
A thankful nod from the guests as they walk past
I managed to secure a voluntary position
And thus conclude my accommodation mission
It's a vibrant hostel in the heart of Granada
With nightly music louder than the Spanish Armada
Lemon Rock is the name; it's almost brand new
Including toast for breakfast and a midday stew
To celebrate Matt and I charged around the city
Until the rugby ball we were booting didn't look so pretty
I wonder whether these poems make for good reading
Whether they induce a smile or internal bleeding
I wonder what ever happened to lemonade stalls
Kids on the corner heeding the nation's calls
I wonder what language will look like next century
Whether the written word will be replaced by the emoji
I wonder why teaching isn't the highest paid profession
The most powerful figures in intergenerational succession
A night at the pub to see history being made
The mighty All Blacks completely outplayed
Over 100 years and no loss until now
After so many close calls Ireland came through somehow
The Irish pub of course showed little sympathy
In fact they were positively giddy with glee
We went dancing until the wee hours of the morning
Kebab in hand, I walked home yawning
A stumbling Skype job interview
It couldn't have gone better upon review
It came to nothing but confidence was high
Short on money but Spanish on the rise
Then off to meet up with Matt and his mates
All English teachers, meaning several debates
Food here is free when you order a drink
Tapas they call it (and it's gone in a blink)
The world is grey, the laughter elsewhere
What am I trying to achieve over here
I need stillness and purpose and most of all home
I'm not chasing a dream I'm just looking to roam
I step away from myself - this is only fleeting
Travels without troughs is no doubt cheating
It's refreshing in a way; it makes the highs better
I make my way to the hostel and pull on my sweater
I went on the hunt for a hostel with space
For volunteers to help with maintaining the place
All job negotiations were held in Spanish
Thankfully some of my vocab hadn't vanished
I got mostly no's but one said maybe
I left with a firm first pump 'yeah baby'
Later we found musicians serenading some ladies
Their creepy expressions resembling Hades
A wretched guilt will stalk our days
Our kids, their kids; numb and dismayed
Climate change is our greatest threat
There can be no excuse for an apathetic mindset
We are all powerful agents of action
But money protects money without a global reaction
What will it take to awaken from our greed
I need to rethink the life that I lead
The great Kiwi reunion in Spain
It was Halloween night and we couldn't refrain
Naturally we dressed up as American tourists
Maps, cameras and Hawaiian shirts for the purists
Sandals, shorts and matching long white socks
Red wine to aid in the beer detox
Always a treat to be with fellow country-folk
More sophisticated than an artichoke
I took the tube with my bags overflowing
I wore too many layers; the exertion was showing
I arrived at the airport with three hours to spare
I had my book and a sandwich so I didn't care
The flight revealed a beautiful Spain from the sky
Fields of olives and tomatoes ready to supply
Very little interrogation from the customs man
A bus into town and the Granada adventure began
Finally got to see Liam play football
Chesterfield v Charlton; it was more of a brawl
He played well I thought, one of his team's best
Chesterfield conceded after being high-pressed
They went on to lose and the fans were furious
Some left early, which I found rather curious
Then off to meet up with a new acting friend
A nice finish to the final London weekend
Whiskey, to the untrained throat
Can be the equivalent of swallowing a goat
The burn slides down like a flaming bar of soap
You sip cautiously, seeing if you can cope
The molten liquid cools to a glow
Now you've got the feeling that so many know
The warmth emanates and you lean back and smile
'Ah, I haven't tasted that in a while'