July
I hop on the motorbike, shit it has gears
I get ten minutes to practice and harness my fears
Moments after falling, it's "vamos" and we're off
I discover motorbike prowess is nothing to scoff
We zoom through a place called Valley of the Moon
Dogs snap at our heels and I feel as macho as a baboon
We chew up dirt roads with maniacal laughter
The exact mix of silly and fun I was after
Yahtzee is a great game with dinner
You can munch while you casually establish a winner
It's entirely luck but at the same time not at all
The strategies are complex, big risks can enthral
Something about dice games bring me joy
Maybe the simplicity, like playing as a boy
It certainly helped that the dinner was devine
A few roles later the win was mine
Let's walk up that mountain, yes that's a good idea
We'll take up some lunch, avo and bread rolls to share
Let's leave at midday, it is only the hottest time to walk
The stifling heat should give us ample opportunity to talk
Let's push on, despite the non-existent path
We could step on a snake, wouldn't that be a laugh
Oh are we here? It doesn't quite feel like the top
Let's ignore the heat, the bugs and really enjoy our lunch stop
We were waiting at seven, we got picked up at nine
An hour's bus ride took us to the starting line
My chain fell off when I first hopped on the bike
Not the kind of start to the Death Road you would like
Spectacular mountains turned to gravel and rain
Where slips and waterfalls made for difficult terrain
Snow to jungle in four hours of descent
Muddy and alive, we were totally spent
The central prison of La Paz has a quirky tale
Inmates don't experience what I consider a normal jail
Many have families that live with them in their cells
And kids who leave daily to attend school for brief spells
Cocaine (known as sugar) is a currency of sorts
It can be seen thrown in packages that land in the city's main court
Don't pick up flying packages we were told with a wink
We finished up the tour with a strange local drink
I arrived in La Paz with my stomach a mess
We had Tom's somewhat confusing address
We finally found it, but there was no space
We settled for another after a bit of a goose chase
La Paz is packed with noise and concrete
There are zebras to help you cross the street
I kid you not - they are a volunteer army
That dress up as zebras and make street crossing balmy
All of a sudden a donkey appeared
We were on a hike and Tom wasn't scared
He mounted the ass, and dug in his heels
In response the donkey spun a few wheels
I burst out laughing but that quickly subsided
It was my turn next, I squeakily confided
That I'd never ridden a wild donkey
But ride one I did, though only a step took he
I walked across the Bolivian border
With Jack the Englishman who gave the order
To arise from my bleak disposition
Which was aided by Tom's apparition
Tom had arrived! We met in Copacabana
We took the ferry across a stretch the size of Ghana
Well, not exactly, the speed was a bit of a joke
Then we lost football and had to buy the kids a coke
Choking back the tears, I said
Goodbye, ignoring the voice in my head
Stay! You idiot. Don't leave such a place
With so much love it's not easy to face
Uncertainty and life on the road
I hopped on the bus as the tears flowed
I hoped it would stop, some reason to stay
The bus drove off into the grey
A farewell party all for me, my face up on the walls
Take me on in a final beer pong if you've got the balls
Of course the party had a theme
A pajama party - which has always been the dream
Never have I ever been so comfortable at a party
Sitting in my pajamas, sipping on something hearty
You can move seamlessly from party mode to bed
We sandwiched the two with a trip for pita bread
A night out at a party hostel named Loki
The place was packed for their eleventh anniversary
I wore Mel's jacket, as Twisted Prom was the theme
The crowd filled in with a steady stream
A sculpture of the word Loki was set on fire
As fireworks burst climbing ever higher
Still, the place has got nothing on the mighty Milhouse
We tip toed away with the stealth of a mouse