April
The gym at altitude is a different kind of beast
It gives you a slap after promising a feast
There are gains to be had, but the battle is grim
If you're hoping to breathe, your chances are slim
And the music - oh what a treat to witness
More suited to a 3am boogey not burgeoning fitness
The trainer is not afraid to help the ladies with stretching
I can be found at the back, dry-retching
I can't help but feel that we went too early
Karaoke before 12 is just a little girlie
It should be reserved for the end of the night
When judgement's impaired and balance is slight
When your voice could down a flock of pigeons
But to you, you're more angelic than the world's religions
But alas, we went, and can I get an Amen
I won't be repeating that mistake again
Back to the homestay for a catchup dinner
My new jumper proved to be a real winner
Alba the dog had clearly forgotten my scent
Snapping at my arm trying to make an indent
Nice to be back, I think my chat has improved
Any fears of a decline were quickly soothed
The classic carbs combo packed a delightful punch
Thanks Peruvian family, thanks a bunch
A marathon of shifts, three nights in a row
It's fair to say mornings have been rather slow
Balance is needed between 'work' and health
Balance is the only real wealth
Work is a very loose term I think
The only chore is moving plates through the sink
Endless free food, and drinks if you please
Oh the joys of work overseas
The sacred art of the Beer Pong throw
Well there's a skill that you ought to know
Keep the elbow and eye in line
Don't let past failures point to a decline
Judge your loop and breathe in deep
You want a gentle arc, nothing too steep
When you nail it (as you undoubtedly will)
Be sure to give your opponent a grill
South American time is alive and well
To be punctual is to raise all hell
What is half an hour here or there
Tranquilo hombre, there's always time to spare
Buses arrive when they arrive
Their only qualm is how fast to drive
Timeliness is overrated
When you see such happiness cultivated
Why not bring why not into every day
Why not let circumstance have its say
Why not lift your feet off the ocean floor
Why not follow the things that you adore
Why not be at peace with your lovely self
Why not care about your holistic health
Why not go somewhere you might not fit
Why not be happy and not question it
A 'why not' day, we were picked up at 3
In the morning (not the afternoon - don't be silly)
A bus, then some bread, then the walking began
Coca leaves had me feeling like Superman
Oxygen was rare but conversation was not
At almost 5000m, it was surprisingly hot
Rainbow mountain was truly a swashbuckling sight
Why not indeed, then straight to work for the night
Bottled water really grinds my gherkin
Stay away from tap water because trouble be lurkin'
It's annoying, but it's even worse for our planet
Without proper pipes though we can't really ban it
It's a conundrum you see, a right proper mess
A governmental failure, and we settle for less
Piles of putrid plastic still rising
Yet motivation for a solution must be less appetizing
Life's better with funky socks
They're more fantastic than Mr. Fox
I've got aztecs, golf flags and cacti
Some with anchors and some aeroplane socks, oh my
I used to be a sports-socks-only stiff
But then a shimmering pattern gave me a whiff
Of the better life, a life without restraint
Don't be a stiff, of that you ain't
Every day a new story to hear
Stories never cease to bring me cheer
Tales of pantless nights in Portugal
And Amazonian animals that sought to kill
Howling stories, desperate to be heard
I like stories that toe the line of the absurd
We are all just stories, hidden from the light
It's such a gift to be able to tell them right
It would be inappropriate not to try all the drinks
When you work at a bar (gone in a few blinks)
You have to put in the research at any job
And acknowledge that it can be a real slog
You've never heard a sound like the start of Happy Hour
People come bolting from their rooms mid-shower
With towels over shoulder and pants on one leg
It's like watching sperm race towards an egg
Sleeping in a room full of others
Takes me back to sisters and brothers
Of Outward Bound, where sounds fill the night
And it's not always safe to turn on the light
Except the comings and goings are different at a bar
Everyone's sleeping hours are quite bizarre
Thankfully none of my roomies are too frisky
Except perhaps when there's been too much whiskey
How can something be at once so fluffy and so filling
Rice you are my rock in life, and for you I am willing
To cast aside my hesitation for an overdose
In complex carbohydrates - something really quite morose
You sacrifice your wellbeing for the greater plate
You provide the opportunity for flavours to inflate
Rice, your work is noted and I really do adore
The fruits of your good labour, please sir can I have more
Some couches understand when it is time for bed
Not this one I'm afraid, it wants to play instead
It waits until I'm comfortable, then it prods my back
Like a curious toddler testing the limits before a smack
The armrests are to sleep what Donald Trump is to politics
Completely incompatible and always up to tricks
Perhaps I'll lose a limb tonight, such is my trepidation
Of this monstrous couch and its malevolent fixation
Day and Night, they have a rhythm and flow
Their ripples touch the sides of everything we know
Day carries us in her arms, walking brightly and sure
Our senses are alive to every charming detour
As the moon emerges we are passed on to Night
His world is strangely beautiful, amidst an eternal plight
And so and so, we are passed through the hands
Amidst stumbles and smiles and newfound lands
Ok I'll admit I'm a bit behind
My tardiness is not what I had in mind
I must make a routine, a robust daily action
To combat the lack of linguistic traction
Habits, good habits, they're crucial in life
Like sturdy rope or a good pocket knife
The sheer force of will to note down these lines
Is simply unrivalled in modern times
I went to a vegan restaurant, a first
A phenomenon really, they're quite dispersed
12 soles is serious bang for your buck
Another piece of Incan gold has been struck
The local musical trio made the courtyard their own
The dude on the drum was in the zone
Their words unknown but more beautiful, still
Will I pay up? You bet I will
Jean Karlo and Pier are both bankers by trade
Together they're a match made in heaven, remade
They quarrel and jest, just the small stuff you know
I've been teaching Jean appropriate usage of "bro"
Meal times are jovial (and sometimes difficult to follow)
The banter's been terrific (though not when you're trying to swallow)
A family is a gift and I have made one thanks to them
Next week it's onto hostel life with perhaps a dash more mayhem
Leaving the house requires the shrewdness of a shrew
Between myself and the gate lies a minefield of poo
It is Alba the guard dog's defensive work of art
I've only had one slip-up, and from that I can take heart
The trouble is the stench you see it's really rather bleak
It does however aid in navigation from the street
You would giggle if you saw me, leaping toe to toe
The defence is always shifting - it's something of a lotto