February 14

They gave us three carrots, three apples, three flapjacks and scroggin

Whoever decided these portions deserves a good floggin'

They should be forced to sing Nickleback

In their birthday suit, on top of a yak

Then made to watch every Shortland St show

In chronological order, then backwards in slowmo

Or maybe I'm being a little bit rude

I'm learning to really treasure my food